I have a fairly easy job. I work a register, and cut up samples, I dip things in chocolate. Sure I have to cook, but my main tools are a microwave and a spatula. In fact, if it requires anything more than I microwave to cook it, I don't do it. I don't have the training. I swear to God.
Doesn't mean I can't screw it up.
Today, instead of putting one pound of brown sugar and 4 teaspoons of cinnamon in the apple pie mix (if you don't know what that is, don't worry, it's fairly irrelevant), I put in half a pound of brown sugar. Then I proceeded to make 3 apples with it. Needless to say, CINNAMON FUCKING OVERLAOD. I then felt guilty and stupid for the rest of my shift.
This is just another in a series of issues with my mundane, mind-numbingly boring life. I do a job that doesn't require much more than arms and fingers, and yet I still get upset when I make a simple dumb mistake. You know how I made the mistake? I was distracted thinking about ways I can make my life more interesting. No joke. Because my life, while good, is dull.
This could go somewhere, but it won't. And don't get me wrong, I love my job. I get paid to play with chocolate, and occasionally I get to take home an apple that's deemed "unsellable" for free and eat it and laugh at people who had to pay $5.5o for the same apple. But I'm afraid that this is going to be my life forever. I fear that every job I ever have will eventually lead to this same sentiment: that I'm not doing anything that matters. If I disappeared, my job would be instantly filled. The fear that my presence on Earth wouldn't be missed by anyone but my friends and family is somewhat frightening. I want to do something that not everyone can do. Someday, somehow I'll get there.
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